Doggie Con

I’ll play with you in the sun, doggie
We can bite each other for fun, doggie,
I’ll let you have freedom, doggie,
Just feed me each time I come, doggie,

Dog your food attracts me,
Was going ’bout my business and it smacked me,
Yeah, anything you want, doggie,
‘Cause your dinner is enough, doggie,

While I was nearby that night,
I smelled something that turned me from a garbage diet,
The scent was coming from your address,
I know that you want to get out of that dog chain,

I know that you’d like to get out of this yard,
See anywhere you want, and be with other dogs,
Stop following commands and do whatever you want,
All I really want is for you to not say that you can’t….
Leave dinner for me, even if its KFC Zinger, doggie,

Tonight, be without your dinner, doggie,
Let you know what it’s like being a winner, doggie,
Kindly pass that slice of pizza, doggie,

Doggie Halloween

Doggie hears knocks, but doggie fears not,
At the door, ghosts goodbye, folks you lie,
My nose and I you won’t surprise(“you won’t deny” was said the first time) ………..(Repeat)

Knock knock, let me come in,
I just want us to play,
Doesn’t everybody see you as a nice little doggie,
Little pup, little pup, little pup, let me come in,

Doggie sees them in their costume sheets,
Many rolled up and they’re asking me for alot of sweets,
But I know that some I see aren’t here for trick or treats,
‘Cause I smell grave-dirt and rotten flesh, and there is dracula teeth,

Hey I thought a little kid knocked at the door,
And instead of me looking out the window, I opened and something grabbed me by the throat,
Luckily ticks were behind my leash yow,
5 demons standing at the doorway, the vampire mouth filled with ticks,
A dog’s mouth has ‘howly’ water, so I prepared to spit,

Shut down all the locks, ’cause something is creepy, hey,
Where’s Shaggy and Scooby when you need them with the mystery machine,
Shut down all the locks, fleas are keeping my company,
Why am I seeing Frankenstein, and the Adam’s family and Count Dracula and Freddie,
I put on a fake tough guy face and said, “hey, come test me when you ready!”,
Jason escaped in the house and right where I’m hiding, he chopped up the teddy…bear,
He slashed again, not there, but he shaved all o’ my back’s long hairs,
Here’s Freddie….

Knock knock, let me come in,
I just want us to play,
(Talking)Be a nice little puppy, doggie, nice little doggie,
Let me in!!!!

Hot Chase Rat Race

Oh, what a hot chase,
One of the prisoners escaped,
Has he gone east or west,
I sniffed the air and it makes no sense(scents),
Its just a wild goose chase,

Verse 1
Running from morning-a, they said he’s wanted- and,
The only marking of him is a brief left in his jail cell, yeah, and it smells,
He evades his taxes- and, this doggie tracks this man,
Cold in my nostrils, man, it sucks in the medieval age, yeah,
Lots depending on me,
When I get hungry, and a restaurant smells near, yeah,
It changes the course that I’m on to go find the fugitive yeh,
The guards says why you going this way?
I barked, and continued the journey,
In minutes we were at a diner, but it was not the prisoner who got me there.

Verse 2
The guards ask theirselves what am I doing sitting on the hunt when time is ticking,
This hunt is too slow, but I think if we waited a little technology should kick in,
The man 10 miles away in downtown,
And the guards want me to smell him from here somehow,
I am a mongrel for crying out loud,
I only smell from here to there, so go get a blood hound….

Rock My Boat

They call this thing on the wall a mirror,
When did that other dog get in here, who you staring at?
I’ve never seen you around these parts before, stopping the talking back,
Why don’t you say things that are different, before I make you crack?

Verse 1
I chewed my skin and he does the same thing, hey,
I tried to outsmart him, howling, barking,
Then quickly I’m jumping, scratching,
I tried tail-chasing, but both of us were spinning,
Don’t know who he is, but this tells me one thing,
Dogs can do what another dog can,
My patience ran out so I decide to make him buzz off, that rottweiler sucked,
So I lifted my hind leg and aimed at the glass and showed that I am a new fire truck.

Verse 2
When I lifted my feet, he does the same at the same speed,
Hey, there’s a flea, flea, flea, flea, flea, flea, flea, flea,(dog scratching and biting sound)
Dog fur floating in the air everywhere,
See it in the mirror and I see it falling over here,
I’m getting annoyed, but before I give up and pass,
My final question is rhetorical, you smell gas?
Take that, sniff that, eat that, I hope forever you’re with that,
Until it becomes your breath and vets can’t help you nor tic tacs,
I think you will disappear if I get it smashed……..

Roots Rock Reggae Parody

Playtime I lose it, I don’t mind abuse it,
Playtime I lose it, I don’t mind abuse it,

Rules dropped doggie, spring round like you’re getting a new gift,
Feels like food inmy belly, and canines don’t need a toothpick,

Verse 1
Hey Ms. Shitzuzi, you sure can use your teeth,
Play-fight and roll-over, then bite my neck like you’re leaving a hickey,
Feel like prancing, prob’ly greet the cat in harmony,
Ain’t no scratching, ’cause we don’t have no flea,
Rules dropped doggie, spring round like you’re getting a new gift,
Feels like food inmy belly, and canines don’t need a toothpick,

Verse 2
Playtime bring out that frisbee, the one that won’t remove my teeth,
Let’s go to the beach, I’ll fetch the stick with a bikini chick,
Let’s dash thru snowflakes, then play hide and seek, I know you’ll choose me,
Let me show you a magic trick, show me your food and I will be houdini.

So Much Trouble In The World

So much trouble with the girl,
So much trouble with the girl,

Verse 1
When they see you its camel humping,
What is your face doing near that doggie’s groin, my friend?
I should just leave, ’cause you gave enough warning,
I don’t have the balls to do it, because you are always sniffing on that end,
What’s the point of giving you my dog-biscuits,
On Valentine’s I saw you and another doggie hitched,
I tried hard to act like there is nothing wrong,
But I must accept that you’re just being a natural bitch, so much others see…..

Verse 2
She just sniffs a little, then she licks a little,
And she gives a little, that’s her style,
She just sniffs a little, then she licks a little,
And she gives a little, that’s her style,
Lassy now gets involved with the wolf-gang,
And She, she comes now and then to kick it like some shoes, man,
I have to say that she is now on a roll,
All the dogs are surrounding her, waiting on their time,
Next time we come face to face,
You and me, we’re going to separate….for good,
So many late nights I hear you barking,
We all know what every dog does at the old railway crossing…….

The Belly Full

My kennel can barely hold me,
I have no room for another dog,
When I’m inside, my nose is outside,
My house is not the best umbrella.

Verse 1
Rainfalls I’m drenched yeh my roof ain’t shelter,
My room door’s so small, I thank God I’m slender,
I am outside ’cause I’m not the typical house dog like Danes,
I get no privacy with my stray friends,
Both of us can’t fit when we have romance,
People would see her head inside and I’m jerking at the tail-end, I say,
No cobwebs inside, guess why,
No space, my fur dusts off the ply,
And when food is not cleaned from it, I can’t sleep,
Murder, everywhere just bares ants……

Verse 2
If I am trying to hide and eat my food,
Anyone looking in would think I’m rude,
‘Cause with my head inside, outside my legs are curled,
It makes me seem as if I’m trying to fart at the world,
Hold on dog, if your master doesn’t fix this house of your’s, relocate to inside,
If that doesn’t work out and he kicks your dirt south, remember I’m the little devilish guy,
I am fed just enough so I can go in and out,
And when I’m going I have to back it up,
My kennel will only save you from 10 drops of rainfall in a thunderstorm,
That’s how much it sucks……

Time Will Tell

Doggie didn’t drop no doo-doo in the hallway,
The damn cat sabotaging me,
Crying meow, tell him go away,
He wants you to put all of the blame on poor doggie,
The cat would love to see you ban me from inside here,
But he didn’t know his dinner had laxative in it,
He’s crying meow, tell him go away,
Shame on you for putting all the blame on poor doggie.

Verse 1
The cat had a bowl of milk with a rat caught on the trap,
He’s lactose intolerant, but he’s pretending,
He’s was crying meow because of belly aches,
That cat, he doesn’t like it when you’re treating me well,
Sometimes he’s locked up in the house and he can’t escape,
And several days passed since he went to the toilet,
So tell me now, Who’s crime is it?,
It was a big dump, that’s why he’s blackmailing me.

Verse 2
His dinner was supposed to be meow mix, but he got tuna instead,
I remember he ate it lastnight, look, there’s the fish head,
He was scratching on the door to be free, ’cause the scent of his droppings was doing him suicide,
So cat, if you knew all this evidence against you, then you wouldn’t lie.

Town Rock

Verse 1
I’m at the table-side woofing, to get some of that, but still nothing,
I know just how nice that food is, because one time they dropped the whole plate,
For food I ain’t moving,
They don’t share so I hope plates get dropped,
Knife and fork they are using, and they are chewing so slow its torture for me,

The bench pulls up, then everybody’s praying,
Covers pulls off, and the scent of it escapes,
My drool drops, and I feel like I would run with the tablecloth,
I should have some in my plate,

Verse 2
It smells juicy, that chicken scent,
Juicy, that stake bone’s length,
Juicy, that pot roast scent,
Juicy, I’m impatient,
I just want them to drop my own,
But everytime they’re done it is just dry bone,
How do you expect me to guard thy home,
When my diet is small like you don’t know I’ve grown,.

For food I ain’t moving,
Knife and fork they are using, Hey…..(Repeat chorus)

That Blasted Alsatian

Dog, that is the dog, that is the dog that had me on the run, that is the dog,
Dog, that is the dog, that is the dog that had me on the run, that is the dog,

There stands the Alsatian,
Earlier I called, Lisa answered,
Looks like the gate doesn’t have a lock and I heard a dog,
He was right at my pants, Oh my god!….

Bow wow’s teeth start bites,
Somehow, ME, survived,
With one shoe and my pants leg shredded, and I’m running,
I’m home right now, and yow, band-aids on my skin like wow,
I see Lisa on Skype and YOW, there’s doggie…….

I’m in a cast, been staying in my room,
My friends on Instagram and Facebook,
Said I look like I was stabbed by damn crooks,
Hey what happened?
It was what my girl’s evil dog do,
Lisa and I video-chat that afternoon,
Then she left the laptop to use the bathroom,
Dog says, “Hey you!!!!!”…….

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