The first dog I ever had was named Max. The weird thing about Max is that he never answered to the name “Max”, he only answered to Spot. Hmm. Oh. Maybe his name was Spot. Not sure why someone would call him Spot though, he was all white and not that great at spotting anything at all.

I’ve had some suspicions that he used to be a police dog, as he’d always perk up when I was eating a donut. You can’t feed a dog donuts of course. So, I’d just cut a hole in the middle of a piece of bologna and figured that was close enough for him. He also liked to put his paws on everything like he was putting up police tape or sticking evidence stickers all over stuff.

One night we were cruising to pick up some donuts and Max was in rare form and put a sticker with an “F” on my dashboard.

I said, “Why are you F’ing with my car?”

He barked, “I have a phobia where I label everything usually with an E for Evidence BUT now I’ll put an F for FUN It’s called ‘Label Everything Disorder.”

I replied, “Oh, well get the F out of my car.”

We went inside the house and Max was F’ing with my furniture. I said, “Get the F off my furniture dude. You are a F’ing pain in the butt!”

Then he stamped an F on me. I said, “Are you F’ing with me? Get the F off of

Okay, that’s enough of this F’ing story…

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