I went out to the supermarket today with my wife and my dog. I went inside and left my two passengers in the car. While I was gathering the items I needed, I received a text from my wife that read, “Don’t forget a treat for the dog.”

I had everything I needed and when I was checking out at the register, I saw a troubling sight. A little boy had somehow climbed into one of those coin operated toy-grabbing claw machines. I ran over and I could hear him say, “Now I know what my goldfish feels like. Get me the #&%@ out of here, Mister!”

Thinking quickly, I grabbed a fistful of quarters out of my pocket pumped one in. The foul-mouthed kid kept moving around and I kept missing him with the claw. One time I got a hold of his arm but he wiggled free. I yelled, “This game is rigged!”

Finally, the kid tired and I got a good hold on him. The problem, however, is that he stuck his arms out so he would not fit down the chute.

Anyway, when the fire department and the kid’s mom stopped flogging me, I left as a very confused and bruised man. I was trying to save that kid, what was their beef? Oh well, I’ll beat that machine someday…

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