I went to the liquor store and parked in my private parking space. They love me there; they even claim me on their taxes as a dependent. They get so much of my paycheck that they let me bring my K-9 inside.
Anyway, I went in the store with my dog and saw that a new guy was working there and he only had one arm. I saw him struggling to pick up a box and I said, “Hey buddy, it looks like you need a hand?”
The guy spun around and swung at me! Lucky for me, he swung at me with his missing arm and didn’t even come close to me – he must have forgotten for a second.
I reached into my pocket for my wallet and he yelled, “Don’t shoot, I’m un-armed!”
I laughed and said, “I can see that.” He swung at me again?
He explained that he had no gun; I explained that I didn’t have a gun either – he calmed down.
I said to my dog, “Wow, this guy is really out on a limb…”
I was going to call the cops on this nut-job but I realized that handcuffs would be useless here.
Disclaimer: This story was completely fabricated. No one-armed men were harassed in this story. I am a non-attorney moron, and I approved this message.

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