I am watching the Ping Pong channel on cable with my dog right now. We watch a lot of TV together. This time together really binds us and it helps our dog-to-man relationship flourish. I will type the riveting ping pong action as it happens below.

Sportscaster – This is Bowser Cosell, welcome to ping pong’s Bowl-A-Rama. Tonight we present the “Thrilla with Magilla!”

Tonight, King Kong versus Godzilla:

And here we go, a slow volley to start and.. what’s this, Kong is trash talking, lets listen in: “Roar, hey Geico, your daddy is a salamander!”

Whoa that was a dig! Oh, here is Zilla’s reply, “Pheeeew!”

OMG! Kong is on fire! It’s the old flame throwing burn your opponent with your fire breath ploy!

Even a puppy should have seen that one coming.. oops, sorry King.

Now look, Kong smashed the table to smithereens! This is colossal folks, what action packed drama!

Oh no, Zilla is picking up a group of train cars in slow motion. Wait, there’s bi-lines below written in English, what’s it say? Got it, it says “made in Japan.”

Kong just tore off
half of my page!
People are running
in all directions now.
It’s pandemonium!
OMG there’s people in
the train cars screaming
for help. It’s all too surreal,
the horror, the horror!

Look now…

Announcer interrupts: “We apologize folks, this event has run long. Due to previously scheduled programing, we now cut to the Miley Cyrus Twerking Hour, enjoy!

My dog: WTH! In the dog world, she is considered a mangy mongrel! Good Lord, I would rather chew on aluminum foil while shaving my head with a cheese grater than watch this!

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