While I was waiting for my toenail and finger nail polish to dry today I thought; If I was a Saint Bernard rescue dog in the Swiss Alps, I’d be a really bad Saint Bernard rescue dog in the Swiss Alps.

Yes, every now and then I treat myself to a mani-pedi. Now, If I was a Saint Bernard, I am certain that temptation would best my greatest efforts and I would drink all the booze in that little barrel on my neck.

Shortly after consuming the contents of the aforementioned barrel, I would commence in chasing all the female Saint Bernard rescue dogs in the Swiss Alps.

This would undoubtedly lead to me being mercilessly bitten by said female Saint Bernard’s resulting in the number of avalanche survivors decreasing precipitously.

Next morning, I would wake up with a dog hangover and support an empty barrel hanging on my neck which would render me to a useless Saint Bernard rescue dog in the Swiss Alps.

My uselessness would most likely lead me to a life of substance and alcohol abuse and live a wasted life until my dying day.

For these reasons; I’m glad I am not a Saint Bernard rescue dog in the Swiss Alps.

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