My dog came up to me and said, “I caught my tail today. It is kind of a milestone for me but suddenly the challenge is gone and I do not know what to do with myself. I’m old now so that licking myself thing isn’t what it used to be so, ahh, got any ideas?”

I said, “No”, and he bit me. He always bites me. Ever since that fateful ‘trip to the vet’, he has been complaining that he felt removed and that something is missing, poor guy/girl/it…

Then, he just kept yapping at me with dumb stories – I mean really bad ones. He said, “How did the cat take the first place trophy at a dog show?”

I said, “How would I know, tell me.”

“Easy, he snuck into the winners kennel, stole it, and took off. Ahahaaa ruff ruff ruff hahaa.”

He also said, “I think clowns aren’t good at sewing very well because they seam funny. LOL bark hiccup bark LOL hiccup.”

OMG he got at my beer again, he is such an idiot. SMH…

I had better call his sponsor at DAA (Dog Alcoholic’s Anonymous).

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