Cells – Hey dude, let’s start exercising on Tuesday

Me – Today is Tuesday.

Cells – Okay, let’s start on some Tuesday.

Me – Okay.

Cells – Hey, do you see that box of donuts on the counter?

Me – Of course, it’s all I can think about. I can hear it calling my name. It’s courting me, whispering my name, taunting me, it’s driving me crazy!

Cells – You mean, like this, “Come on over here big boy. You know you desire me, you know you need me. Come on tall, dark, and hungry, take me. Take me big boy for God’s sake take me now!”

Me – “ALRIGHT! KNOCK IT OFF!”

Just after that last sentence, I was the recipient of odd looks from my dog. I guess that last comment was out loud.

*Note to self: When discussing pertinent matters with self, keep the conversation on the inside. The animal kingdom just doesn’t understand. Now, go ahead on over, you deserve a donut my man.

Psst, donuts.

Me – OMG, who is writing this?

DONUTS!

Me – Hey, cut it out. Who is this?

DONUTS DONUTS!

Me – Alright, that is just about enough!

POWDERED DONUTS, JELLY DONUTS, LEMON FILLED DONUTS, BOSTON CRÈME DONUTS!!

Me – “STOP IT YOU #@&%l?& SOB! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!”

I looked behind me and my dog had my wireless keyboard. He’s a bad boy. Dog for sale.

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