After getting thrown out of the bank again today, I ran into a homeless man and his dog. The dog’s name was Hobo, how ironic. Anyway, I was thrown out because I was ranting that adults should get the free lollipops too – and choose which color!
I sparked up a conversation with the homeless guy, and Hobo. He said that an alien government swooped down and stole all of his spinach because that’s what their ship used for fuel. He went on to say how they were little orange men and they had four ears and four eyes.
I didn’t believe his story for one second. Everyone knows that aliens are green. Well, after a couple hours of discussing our tanking economy the egregious power grab from Vladimir Putin, he asked me to contribute $10.00 toward his homelessness.
I said, “Sure, but I’m going to claim this on my taxes so you’ll have to fill out a 10-99 tax form and provide proof of citizenship. You’ll have to include this on your return and pay income tax too. A percentage will be deducted for Social Security, Medicaid, FICA, Federal tax, State tax, and Unemployment tax, and tax tax. Oh, you’d better get Hobo licensed and spade.”
Hobo growled and lunged toward me but his leash stopped him from chomping me.
All in all it would cost the guy about $850 so he said, “Just ******* keep it! I should have left with the aliens!”
Works every time…
*Most of our homeless are mentally ill and many are ex-military folks, so take a moment to say hello. They are humans, they just want to be treated like humans.