It’s tough being a boxer with a dog, he tries to jump in the ring to protect me from opponents.

I like getting tattoos, I’m thinking of getting one of my dog. Then in case he runs away I’ll be a human “lost dog” poster.

Being an action star is like being a dog, when people see you they always stop and ask personal questions about you.

The toughest part about having a Dog that’s a Boxer is getting his gloves on.

A fight between me and Bruce Willis would be like a fight between two English Bulldogs. We’re both worth too much to even risk it.

I’ve always wanted to be a Boxer, but on my gentle days I wanted to be a Poodle.

I don’t clean up after my dog with a bag. I use 3 seashells

Comparing Me to Schwarzenegger is like comparing pitbulls to bulldogs. They’re strong but no one’s winning a beauty contest.

I steal most of my action movie dialogue from my dogs. It’s just lots of growling, scowling, and huffing.

We’re releasing a new brand of dog diapers, they’re called The Expendables.

Dogs are like Rambo, they try to avoid trouble but it always ends up finding them.

I exercise with my dogs. I hold one in each hand and do curls with them.

My friends and I are like a pack of alpha dogs, except I’m the most Alpha. Don’t tell any of them I said that though.

The only people besides me to get nominated for Best Actor and Best Screenplay in one movie were Charles Chaplin and Orson Welles. I feel like a mutt at the Westminster Kennel Club.

As a dog trainer I teach them “sit”, “stay”, and to run up and down the Philly Museum Steps.

I’ll retire from movies when dogs retire from chasing their tails.

I’ve got the same breathing issues as a pug, and the same speaking issues as well.

My brain is kind of a mutt, because I’m always mixed up.

Arnold and I are more bark than bite. Bark doesn’t mean yell at you, it means call our lawyers.

My bulldog learned how to follow commands from me, and I learned how to annunciate from him.

I named my dog Adrian, so that when I want her I can yell ADRIAAAN.

A new movie is like a puppy, to do well it needs care and attention, and once it’s set you want another one.

Don’t bring Pavlov’s dog to the boxing ring, whenever a match starts he gets hungry

People say I’ve got the enthusiasm of a dog, and the face of one.

I don’t pick up after my dog, I blow up the place that he went.

We’re planning a Planet Hollywood for dogs, with chew toy memorabilia all over the walls.

People, like dogs, need to have portion control. You ever see Dolph Lundgren at a buffet? He doesn’t know when to stop.

I tried to teach my dog to pee in the toilet, but his aim is so bad he could be the villain in one of my movies.

There are 6 puppies in the average litter, the same as the average amount of sequels to a Sylvester Stallone movie.

I named my puppy Little Rocky, please don’t confuse that with Kid Rock.

The real Demolition Man is my pup, he got the name from how he can clear the room with one fart.

I think it’s obnoxious when a friend shows you pictures of his pets, people think it’s obnoxious when I show them pictures of everyone famous I know.

I had to teach my dog commands via sign language, because I mumble too much for him to understand verbal ones.

For the next Expendables movie I’m replacing all the actors with dogs. They’re cheaper, they’re cleaner, and they’re better at following directions.

“You gotta stay healthy no matter how old you are. Keep those muscles big, the heart beating, and the nose wet.” – that’s what I say to my dogs.

I keep lots of dogs because I don’t want to be Sylvester Alone.

The perfect dog is trained, not bred.

When you’re famous you can afford a nanny for your kids and your pets. I’m so busy I’m not sure my kids or my dog know who I am.

I like my wives like I like my dogs: younger than me.

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