There’s an all-dog sequel to one of my films coming out, it’ll be called A Few Good Men’s Best Friends.

I’m proud to be a mutt from Jersey. My heritage is Irish, Dutch, German, and Terrier.

I was in Anger Management with Adam Sandler. That guy loves dogs so much, his films are an homage to their #2.

I taught my dog to bark frequently, it takes attention away from my creepy laugh.

If the Departed were remade with dogs it would be a much shorter movie. Those guys can sniff out drugs in a second.

Dogs often mimic their owners, which is tough for me. My most famous roles are about disobeying authority.

Dogs often mimic their owners, which is tough for me. My most famous roles are about disobeying authority.

I own too many nice suits to own a dog with hair.

My dog’s Bucket List isn’t a long series of extravagant activities. It’s just a loop of “Play” and “Sleep”.

My dogs are my biggest fans.

I learned that sometimes dogs are brought into insane asylums as therapy forthe residents. What the residents can’t figure out is how that dog got a degree to practice therapy.

The only reason I don’t get a lapdog is because I can’t afford to look any more like an evil genius.

My hairline is like a puppy who just heard a loud noise. Running off and hiding.

Everyone does the “Here’s Johnny” impression of me. Even my dog, who does it by sticking his head through the doggy door.

Joker’s are like dogs. There’ll inevitably be more than one, but it doesn’t mean you can’t love them all the same.

I got into a fight with my dog, I like the Lakers and he likes the Clippers.

I’m like a stray dog. You can’t decide if I’m charming or terrifying.

I’ve won more awards than I know what to do with. I just give them to my dog to bury in the backyard if he runs out of bones.

You’d think my dog would pick up some acting skills from me, but whenever he tries to pretend he didn’t knock something over I just don’t believe him.

I’ve become so great at eyebrow acting, I can command my dog with my eyebrows alone.

I’ve received an Oscar nod for ever decade since the 60’s. That’s 5 generations of dogs.

The pooper scooper? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE POOPER SCOOPER!

I’ve put on weight over the years because I got a Retriever, and taught him to retrieve sandwiches.

I’m playing a dog in my next movie, About Schnitzel.

I like sports the way a dog likes squirrels. Great to watch, but ultimately I’ll never interact with them.

I’ll never forget working with Tim Burton, man that guy was weird. His dog was a cat.

I got the role of the Devil in Witches of Eastwick. My dog was up for the part of Cerberus.

I’m thinking of getting my kids a dog and naming him Johnny. That way when I gift him to them I can say “This is your new dog Johnny.” Ya. You thought you knew were that was going but you didn’t.

To get my hair right in Anger Management, they just used a dog groomer.

 

 

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