I get kind of nervous around dogs because they’re…predators.
Hey Dogs Listen UP!! Sarah Conner is man’s best friend.
It’s not a sense of humor, it’s a doggie bag!
The smartest dogs can understand 300 English words. I’m still getting there.
You know the movie 101 Dalmatians well the word word for “dogs” in German is “Hunde.” You can imagine how dumb the movie Hundred and One Hunde sounded to me.
My dogs don’t take walks, cardio is for pansies. They lift, and do push ups. Which for dogs are called standups.
I train my dog in German, so no one else can command it. I guess except for someone who speaks German.
Once I got jealous when I saw my wife with Danny DeVito but then I realized it was just her Pug.
Who is your doggy and what does he do?
Sometimes I howl at the moon like a dog. And by moon I mean ladies’ butts.
Body building is a dog eat dog world. It’s got to be, you need a lot of calories.
I think dog fighting is immoral. Cat fighting is sexy.
Dogs would be the perfect animal if only they could arm wrestle.
They’re going to name a dog breed after me, the Austrian Butt Pinscher.
It’s raining aliens and predators out there.
Between me and my dog, we’ve won Mr. Olympia seven times and Best in Show six times. I won’t say who won what.
Sit, Stay, Roll Over, it’s a BOOOOOMB!
Your puppy can’t graduate
My foot is like a veterinarian’s thermometer, and it’s time to take your temperature. That’s a line from a movie that never got made, I don’t know why.
I promised my wife I’d be loyal as a dog, but being loyal and being faithful are two different things.
Sometimes I’ll adopt dogs from shelters and say “Come with me if you want to live”
As governor, I had to get a dog for political reasons. I kept it for petting reasons.
My dog is a reflection of me. Not like literally, I’m way bigger than my dog.
People say that I’m a lot like a Pitbull, because of the way I annunciate.
I was a movie star for about two decades. Which in dog years is a century.
I named my dog Conan. You know, after the Talk Show host.
Hasta la vista, Puppy
Robot dogs aren’t that popular anymore, but I heard one promise “I’ll be back.”