My dog fur’s cool and rocks,
Everyday doggie walks through the blocks,
Every 3 days I’m shampooed and washed,
So I don’t have fleas, I don’t chew my locks,
I’m well trained, I know how to move and act,
You can’t feed me anything, I choose my snack,
Chasing people, I’m like a wolf on track,
I bite toes if somebody’s boot attack,
Summer-time you can see me ’round the pool, I’m hot,
With my friends, white, multicolored, blue and black,
Doberman, Alsatian, Pitbulls, and Rott,
Everybody get busy when my poos are dropped,
Pull my tail and you get this perfume I got,
Guaranteed you won’t do it again, pew I rot,
You’d be surprised at how much poodles I got,
I’m so fresh, they ask if I’m new or what, yu zimi.

Shitzu, you’re so arrogant, but then why not,
Your fur is so damn attractive, and your bad attitude
Make me wanna take you everywhere I gooooooooooo…..

Verse 2
Remember when you clipped my fur, it made me feel naked,
You were a jerk, ’cause it was winter, I was all shaking,
I got even ’cause you slept somewhere I urinate in,
And your bed-slippers got doo-doo in them when you’re waking,
Think I’m cute when I growl, ok ,say I’m faking,
Put your hand out to pat me, you’ll be mistaken,
‘Cause I may look cool like I am wearing Raybans,
But if you’re not the person with who my day’s spent,
I’m not going to treat you like you are my parent,
I grab your feet to make you ask where my J’s went,
You won’t pass me even with an ok scent,
Can’t trick me, no matter how good your role play went,
I treat you the same if you do or don’t pay rent,
I do big bites, don’t be fooled by my mouth length.

Forever Loving Jah

Ma meal should be filled with bones and meat scraps,
No vegetables,
My meal should be filled with bones and meat scraps,
Dessert should not be bush, please,

Verse 1
They sabotaged me, giving me less meat,
They say that I’m colour-blind, yet in my plate I see lots of greens,
I thought my sight was going, but then I tasted it,
There was a disgusting taste, and a green moustache near my lip,
Yeah, they deceived me…..

Verse 2
Hey where’s my corned beef? My appetite was wet,
But now I’m seeing mashed potatoes with beans and gravy,
Is this April fools’ day?, I’ll be a clown at the dog’s clinic,
Is this a piece of meteorite, or an alien crashed in it, or is it feces?……

The Belly Full

My kennel can barely hold me,
I have no room for another dog,
When I’m inside, my nose is outside,
My house is not the best umbrella.

Verse 1
Rainfalls I’m drenched yeh my roof ain’t shelter,
My room door’s so small, I thank God I’m slender,
I am outside ’cause I’m not the typical house dog like Danes,
I get no privacy with my stray friends,
Both of us can’t fit when we have romance,
People would see her head inside and I’m jerking at the tail-end, I say,
No cobwebs inside, guess why,
No space, my fur dusts off the ply,
And when food is not cleaned from it, I can’t sleep,
Murder, everywhere just bares ants……

Verse 2
If I am trying to hide and eat my food,
Anyone looking in would think I’m rude,
‘Cause with my head inside, outside my legs are curled,
It makes me seem as if I’m trying to fart at the world,
Hold on dog, if your master doesn’t fix this house of your’s, relocate to inside,
If that doesn’t work out and he kicks your dirt south, remember I’m the little devilish guy,
I am fed just enough so I can go in and out,
And when I’m going I have to back it up,
My kennel will only save you from 10 drops of rainfall in a thunderstorm,
That’s how much it sucks……

Redemption Dog

Well, tonight let’s end it big, just bark, don’t be dumb,
Caz dogs forever have big teeth, not gum,
Let’s bite and run, let’s bite and run

Verse 1
Bones I get, yes they rob I,
Then say “Good boy”, I’m so kind I’m tricked,
For your frisbees I jump high,
Their dog-leash makes my neck crick,
Pat my head, but its the same song,
Their kids only need me as a sidekick,
In the cold outside I sleep when the day is done,
I got a thick furcoat, but I’m sick,

Verse 2
Tomorrow same old dog biscuits and gravy,
Bones are not the things to free our kind,
Butch, Bruno, Spot, you’re used as security,
What about the jobs in jackets and ties,
I get lost if I want, I have a dog’s nose, but still you put my pictures all around the neighbourhood,
Then you make that lame whistle for me to come home, but my dinner is never prepared by cooks

Turn Your Lights Down Low

Turn Your Lights Down Low Chorus

I feel like I would give you some bone,
When I’m around you I feel like a rude little puppy,
Your bite feels so right, you sniff me so right, so right,
When I’m around you i feel like a rude little puppy,

Turn Your Lights Down Low Verse1

Last time we bumped nose,
I was clean and you were dirty,
We howled at the moon that night, and then,
My master says he doesn’t want that stray dog in the yard again,
The pain, ooh, I scratched a long long time,
My toe-nail shaved off all my fur,
Damn it seems it happened because of that night,
Anyway a mutt like me just might forget with unconditional love,
But, bitch clean yourself next time, next time…..

Turn Your Lights Down Low Verse 2

Won’t your bites turn wrong?,
Bitch, I’m loving how your fur don’t have ticks now now, not right now,
‘Cause the last time fleas were on your skin
My master had to give me a bath again,
I scratched like oooh, look what your bugs do?
But now I see patches of your fur removed, well done, you’ve pleased bruno,
Roooooff, I love ya,(clears throat) I rov ya,
If my fore-legs were hands right now,
I would check you lice, liiice,
Just to ensure that I won’t howl tonight, but anyway……

We Waggin

Ohh yeah, we waggin’,
Tell me if that’s an issue,
We waggin’, waggin’,
If you don’t like it then I’m biting you.

Verse 1
Ain’t now woof, but you wow,
See these fangs that’s in my mouth, I ain’t got no fleas to chew,
Puppy chow won’t pay the price when you jump my fence tonight,
I’m biting til the job is thru,

Eh, We waggin’,
You see me wag, but call me mutt when I pass,
We waggin’, and gangin’, and attack whether or not my master asks,

Verse 2
I don’t really like cats, damn they scorn me if I scratch,
When burglars come, they run and hide,
Meowing near the table-side, damn it cuts my appetite,
Tonight it’s me and you outside,

And I’ll be waggin’, waggin’, waggin, waggin, and show you these canines,
Yes I’ll be waggin’, waggin’, waggin’, waggin’, hear d you got nine(9) lives, lets play yaw,

Where is dinner and the time’s gone,
I’ve been barking til the time is dawn,
You give me a bone to bite on, that really has no meat on yeh yeh,

Catatouille Dog Dining Experience

Verse 1

The waiter brought my order, I tasted something’s not right,

Later I had to pull over, and let out all I took in my tripe,

Where’s alka-seltzer, thought I was doomed if I didnt vomit,

Something changed my woof, and now my stomach wasn’t quiet,

I heard a cat was the cook, and he put chocolate in my diet,

Is this mud, is this mud, is this mud, is this mud that I’m eating,

Is this mud, is this mud, is this mud, is this mud that I’m eating,

Verse 2

My meat-ball looks like yarn, I’m almost meowing,

I ordered sushi, but got furball with paw prints,

I-i-i-i-i called the boss to my table,

And showed him “A La Carte”, the cat writes I was next on the menu,

I was paranoid yeh, I rushed to the kitchen just to see him, he was about to kill a rat,

I pointed and shout hey, he frowned and his whiskers lift the chef hat,

He pulled a cleaver, Catatouille says it seems I’m in luck,

Dinner was served yeh, he threw leftovers and I didn’t duck,

That puss was in boots, he almost kicked my ass out the restaurant,

The other dogs became wolves when they saw who was serving them what they want.

Old Rover


The story of Old Rover, he barks like he has lung cancer,

And yes he has a foul odour, he hides from baths on a regular,

At home he attracts mosquitoes, he hates the vets for his medicals

And yes he is a rottweiler, who loves to search for used diapers

Verse 1

I say, when he growls it makes no sense, sounds like an old van is trying to start behind the fence,

When he’s asleep call a doctor, you’ll think he needs CPR when he rolls over,

His kennel looks like it got massacred, he looks as ugly as the predator,

His master is a blind man, who thinks he has a better sight than, than Mr. good for nothing Old Rover…….

Verse 2

Sometimes he sees his food he’s like hey yow you dis me,

Where do you think this dog is from,

Then he push away the doggy dishy like its not a meaty bone, but a piece of yam,

And he is not a show closer, it’s been a while since he got hisself a spouse-a

Other dogs use their nose and can tell that Rover needs a roll-on and a shower,

Its the story of the doggy old Rover,

Just hear his barking sounds like he has lung cancer,

And yes he has a damn foul odour, and he hides from baths on a regular,

When water touch him he says Woi yoi yo, woi yo yoi yo, woi yoi yoi yo yoi yo yoi yo

Woi yoi yo, woi yo yoi yo, woi yoi yoi yo yoi yo yoi yo,

Doggy Old Rover, man he loves the garbage ca-a-a-an woi yoiee,

He looks way older than Noah and Abraham,

Dog heaven made him stay-ay-ayyyy down here!

Said he is the doggie Old Rover……………Chorus repeat.

DOWN BUDDY – Drugs at the Airport


He’s saying down buddy, I have nothing

But when I bite a limb, my mouth becomes all white(repeat)

Verse 1

At the airport we guarding, I smelled a suitcase line with drugs,

They fooled the sensors, but I know that coke scent,

X-ray said he’s clean, but I got high when he passed my nose, I sneezed,

That’s heroine, and mybe cocaine’s in you-oo-ooo.

Verse 2

Daily I see varmints, talibans would have me biting bombs,

A dude they called sir, was scanned by the airport reps,

He thought he was free now, but when he passed my nose I see christmas trees,

I bite him, and i got a cocaine addiction too-oo-oooo.

Puppy Show

Puppy Show Chorus:

We’re in this Puppy Show,
Pretending, but hungry now,
We’re in this Puppy Show,
Wanna scratch those flees now,

Puppy Show Verse 1

They say bow wow, who shampooed you,
I got some ticks, I got no tricks, my breath makes your nostril drip,
We don’t eat pedigree chow so we can’t control our doo doo,
Wash-over gold on my collar, and some got leatherette, and I see copper and aluminium leash ’round their necks,
I know how to bite in the meat, I can’t follow orders like other dog does, but I can riot,
I just want this end to get back my bone,
If this contest lasts an hour more I don’t know if i’ll survive.

Puppy Show Verse 2

I looked at Butch, frustration was the most obvious clue
that flees had lunchtime in his skin, but he’d be disqualified if he chewed,
Spot had flies following his mouth, so he blew and blew and blew,
When the judges turned and looked at him, he inhaled, make his stomach full,
Poodle was dying with an itch on the left, every minute twitching, no rest,
A Chihuahua comparing with a ‘shit’ over west, who’s taller was in the bets,
When we thought things couldn’t get crazier, a doberman saw the kids who mocked him,
A Labrador smells a fat kid’s hot wings,
A pitbull’s rabies escaped ‘caz he wouldn’t keep his mouth locked any longer,
5 hours now, so he was dying from hunger,
There was a Great Dane who was feeling tummy aches, then Scooby Doo Doo Pooh, in the Dog Show,
Many dogs left, and the audience got vexed,
What happened next shows dogs don’t care about a prize,
The mailman arrived, every dog left.

Pimpers Paradise

Pimpers Paradise Chorus

I’ve been here all my life,
Can I see elsewhere?
I’ve been here all my life,
Even stray-dogs enjoying out there,

Pimpers Paradise Verse 1

I stare through this gate with a leash ’round my neck,
Sometimes yeh my chain is barely outstretched,
When I go on walks, its just around the block,
I guess all of my dog years will be wasted in one spot.

Pimpers Paradise Verse 2

I see a German Shepherd out on the road, he said he’s from Europe, I can hear the accent in his bark yow, yeh,
Many dogs stick out their tongue at me when they pass in their master’s truck,
After 6 months, my neighbour’s dog returned with a British stamp on his butt,
Stray dogs go anywhere and do anything, but they don’t wear handcuffs,
Dogs are supposed to go places, that’s why there’s a Greyhound bus……

Poodle Of Mine

Poodle Of Mine Chorus

Oh poodle of mine,
She’s a bitch who stood me up here all night,(so cute and so fine)

Poodle Of Mine Verse 1

From the verandah, I stared as those cars passed,
I almost fell asleep when her master stepped by,
But then I see her long legs and rushed to the gate like she telephoned me,
And I sniffed her and lifted my hind legs and marked her as my territory,
Her coat was so clean I smelled myself and bath was saying ‘hello’,
Whatever the case was, my territory marking now made her yellow,
She’s so pretty she could tell me to sit boy, roll-over or fetch it,
But when she left the sidewalk, what I saw was a chihuahua, spaniel or a ‘SHIT’!

Poodle Of Mine Verse 2

She said that she would meet me last night, but let me down like a deflated balloon,
And tonight I heard and another dog together howling at the full moon,
In all my dog years that’s the only tongue sticking out that runs thru my mind,
Now I’m not seeing her anymore and I wonder if its ‘caz I smelled her bahind,
I’ve looked everywhere when driving by, you can see my head outside of the damn land cruiser,
I can barely sleep, barely eat, and the cat sees and walks in my food and calls me loser,
I dug up my savings just for her, and thieves almost robbed my 10 bones,
‘Caz I was on the lonely road so alone, wondering why she lied and I was walking back home, but hey hey
All I wanted was to sniff her right, all I wanted was to give her a bite, all I wanted was to sniff her right, all I wanted was to give her a bite now,……….

Africa Unite

I bite ya, alright,
Now what you gonna do about that staring?
I bite ya, alright, alright,
And I will bite you again, think I’m playing,…

Verse 1
I don’t care if you’re a dog-lover, to me you’re a stranger, man,
You’re saying what a cute dog I am, but reaching out can make you lose your hand, yeah,
I’m sure the sign on the gate says “Beware of bad dog”, thought you could read, yeah,
And what makes it worse is, you’ve seen dangerous gadgets that look like my teeth, yeah….

Verse 2
What are you doing my yard?
You make this doggie wanna say,”What tha Fu….”,
I don’t know you, you’re in trouble, unless my master says, “dog SHUT UP!!!”,
If you happen to come into my yard, ensure you find the roof like the cable guy, sir,
And if you are not McGuiver, when I corner you, make sure you have a tranquilizer…..

So Much Trouble In The World

So much trouble with the girl,
So much trouble with the girl,

Verse 1
When they see you its camel humping,
What is your face doing near that doggie’s groin, my friend?
I should just leave, ’cause you gave enough warning,
I don’t have the balls to do it, because you are always sniffing on that end,
What’s the point of giving you my dog-biscuits,
On Valentine’s I saw you and another doggie hitched,
I tried hard to act like there is nothing wrong,
But I must accept that you’re just being a natural bitch, so much others see…..

Verse 2
She just sniffs a little, then she licks a little,
And she gives a little, that’s her style,
She just sniffs a little, then she licks a little,
And she gives a little, that’s her style,
Lassy now gets involved with the wolf-gang,
And She, she comes now and then to kick it like some shoes, man,
I have to say that she is now on a roll,
All the dogs are surrounding her, waiting on their time,
Next time we come face to face,
You and me, we’re going to separate….for good,
So many late nights I hear you barking,
We all know what every dog does at the old railway crossing…….

Chant Down Babylon

The cat says he’s close with animals who do crime,
What’s worse is, he says their his family serving time,
They are leopards, tigers, lions, jaguars, cheetahs and black panthers,
He says they’re at the zoo, I can look at them just for now….

Verse 1
I beat him up lastnight, so revenge is what he’s now waiting to take,
Don’t know whether or not he’s bluffing, but he keeps laughing and says I’m not safe
I heard a tiiiiiger and a lion roar, and it was happening in the house,
Shortly I saw the cat with the remote,
He says that’s just a zoo clip,
When I get those animals to you skip,
You will see that they’re coming on a food trip,
Why do you think I’m saving all these toothpicks,
Yeh, you will get what’s coming, man….

Verse 2
He says you’re just an overgrown mouse to me,
So I will introduce an overgrown cat to beat,
Tiger will eat you like Hindu prasadam,
And I’ll be near you to share you to everyone,
I heard a tiiiiiger and a lion roar, and it was happening in the house,
Shortly I saw the cat with the remote,
He says that’s just a zoo clip,
When I get those animals to you skip,
You will see that they’re coming on a food trip,
Why do you think I’m saving all these toothpicks,
Yeh, you will get what’s coming, man….

Time Will Tell

Doggie didn’t drop no doo-doo in the hallway,
The damn cat sabotaging me,
Crying meow, tell him go away,
He wants you to put all of the blame on poor doggie,
The cat would love to see you ban me from inside here,
But he didn’t know his dinner had laxative in it,
He’s crying meow, tell him go away,
Shame on you for putting all the blame on poor doggie.

Verse 1
The cat had a bowl of milk with a rat caught on the trap,
He’s lactose intolerant, but he’s pretending,
He’s was crying meow because of belly aches,
That cat, he doesn’t like it when you’re treating me well,
Sometimes he’s locked up in the house and he can’t escape,
And several days passed since he went to the toilet,
So tell me now, Who’s crime is it?,
It was a big dump, that’s why he’s blackmailing me.

Verse 2
His dinner was supposed to be meow mix, but he got tuna instead,
I remember he ate it last night, look, there’s the fish head,
He was scratching on the door to be free, ’cause the scent of his droppings was doing him suicide,
So cat, if you knew all this evidence against you, then you wouldn’t lie.

Dog Mourning African Herbsman

Verse 1
I’m hurt in me deep, Its not all the type roses I see them bring,
Two weeks it’s been, my master, he is now gone away,
I can’t eat a thing, I know something’s wrong,
He’s not reading newspapers and flatulating along,
Where’s the man who needs bathing, and always scratching his balls,
With that disgusting cough………..

People weeping and I bark, you hear weeping in my baaarrrkk,
He used to urinate right over there, and burnt the fields when he’s watering the flowers,
You hear weeping in my baaarrrkkkk….

Verse 2
His skin had more dirt than outside on the ground,
His breath smells like food that I would just leave alone,
But he treated me good, everyday I eat 3 times, but my doo-doo stayed til they dry……

Verse 3
Master was a goodman who had lots of friends,
A girl once rejected him, she mentioned deoderant,
His teeth looks gold-plated, few looks like he chewed coal, Flies always recognize him in those clothes…..

Town Rock

Verse 1
I’m at the table-side woofing, to get some of that, but still nothing,
I know just how nice that food is, because one time they dropped the whole plate,
For food I ain’t moving,
They don’t share so I hope plates get dropped,
Knife and fork they are using, and they are chewing so slow its torture for me,

The bench pulls up, then everybody’s praying,
Covers pulls off, and the scent of it escapes,
My drool drops, and I feel like I would run with the tablecloth,
I should have some in my plate,

Verse 2
It smells juicy, that chicken scent,
Juicy, that stake bone’s length,
Juicy, that pot roast scent,
Juicy, I’m impatient,
I just want them to drop my own,
But everytime they’re done it is just dry bone,
How do you expect me to guard thy home,
When my diet is small like you don’t know I’ve grown,.

For food I ain’t moving,
Knife and fork they are using, Hey…..(Repeat chorus)

Hot Chase Rat Race

Oh, what a hot chase,
One of the prisoners escaped,
Has he gone east or west,
I sniffed the air and it makes no sense(scents),
Its just a wild goose chase,

Verse 1
Running from morning-a, they said he’s wanted- and,
The only marking of him is a brief left in his jail cell, yeah, and it smells,
He evades his taxes- and, this doggie tracks this man,
Cold in my nostrils, man, it sucks in the medieval age, yeah,
Lots depending on me,
When I get hungry, and a restaurant smells near, yeah,
It changes the course that I’m on to go find the fugitive yeh,
The guards says why you going this way?
I barked, and continued the journey,
In minutes we were at a diner, but it was not the prisoner who got me there.

Verse 2
The guards ask themselves what am I doing sitting on the hunt when time is ticking,
This hunt is too slow, but I think if we waited a little technology should kick in,
The man 10 miles away in downtown,
And the guards want me to smell him from here somehow,
I am a mongrel for crying out loud,
I only smell from here to there, so go get a blood hound….

Babies Are Coming

Here comes cuddles, time to say my prayers,
It’s their behavior, embarrassment and abuse,
Doggie tries to hide, no use,
They always find me and they’re so annoying, woi!

The nipple bottle crew has just stepped out of the stroller,
Putting down their toys, I can tell they’re coming over,
For rodeo rides, oh my gosh, they’re in cowboy hats,
Parents are gone, I’ll be crucified for now,
Try to stay far, but they know just where I am,
They call it hide and seek, and they’re it, swap the plan,
‘Cause the last time they said I’m it, I scrammed, and they thought they couldn’t be found,
Now they’re on duty, and sleep time’s nowhere near and it’s their rules,
They’ll be cooking, and want me to eat play doh and wear weird costumes!!!

Chasing me like they’re police, I’m crook,
With water-guns that wake up my fleas when they shoot,
Tying up my face like horsey let’s roll,
And dress me in bikini to chill round the pool, wow woi,
I can’t leave, damn I’m going berzerk,
I can’t wait for their parents return,
There is fire in the house and I’m the one who burns,
They just won’t leave me alone,
No sleeping duty, bedtime’s nowhere near and it’s their rules,
They’ll be cooking and want time to eat play doh and wear weird costumes.

LOL Doggie

Verse 1
My master’s daughter Sue, said she’ll walk me a mile,
This morning she changed the schedule to making me dress up nice,
Before I ate my food she keeps measuring me for clothes size,
It wrecks my pride when she puts boxers on my little little size, she calls it,
And then she puts me in a jacket and tie, ruff yeah,
She took me on the road, then all mutts looking say,

Butch how many bones you get just to make you dress so wrong?
I would’ve cried out, all you’re missing is a big red nose,
Doggie, you’re not fully dressed, what’s next, they’ll put shoes on your paws?
Last time you dined out, you and that girl were eating with knife and fork

We Are Called Mutts

Now that we’re called mutt’s, what are we going to do woofing? (repeat)

My mom is cute, my dad is cute, my brother’s cute, my sister’s cute,
They call me little brute brute, yeah, I don’t like that name, but hear this,
No if nor maybe, I know who to play with,
So if you come to my address, then wait, don’t come on over,
It’s going to be some bad doggie display of biting in you,
Maybe I’ll let you off if you drop piece of steak,
“Move yeah”, you say, “shoo yeah”, you say,
But just step a little closer let me show you what I can do,
You say, “move it”, with fear in your eyes,
These canines get longer if I ever hear someone calls me mutt again,

I try to lay-off sometimes,
And allow some kids to say just hi to me,
But that straw broke the camel’s spine,
‘Cause they’re the same kids who threw stones at me, and then run down the street,
Few times my gate has been passed ignored,
An old shoe hit me in my sleep, just because I snored,
Back to the drawing board,
I’m keeping my guards up,
If you’re cornered and I can let you go, I won’t if you call me m

Ticks Craze

You gotta chew it, ’cause it sticks,
Just ’cause you blew it, there’s the next ticks,
Ooh, you’re scratching with your best kicks,
But whatever you’re doing doesn’t seem like it’ll be moving,
Now you’re being a little bit cruel and bruising your body,
You gotta get thru it before you get sick,
They are on the family jewels, don’t let them mess with it,
You’re going insane, your fur is falling everywhere,
Ain’t got the blues, I seem excited ’cause they bite,
Now look what my teeth do, sweep through, so deep too,
My skin looks like a road kill’s hide,
Since they inhabited me, I barely get to rest at night,
Get me some shampoo, shampoo, shampoo,
And just let the scrub brush get some exercise,

It’s like they’re playing with chopsticks in a great dish, boggie woogie woogie,
They bite and I tell them to watch it like Netflix, boogie woogie woogie,
Can they disappear by magic, this pet wish, boogie woogie woogie,
‘Cause whatever you’re doing doesn’t seem like it’ll be moving,
Now you’re being a little bit cruel and bruising your body,

Your barely see it, I just felt it,
Barely know when you’ve eaten it, Damn I ate six,
Damn, I’m going insane, my fur is falling everywhere……

The Great Dane

The Great Dane’s why dogs think they should be fraid of those pretenders, yow,
He’s called Scooby Doo,
The Great Dane’s why people think dogs should eat pastry, and depend less upon their nose,
We’re better than the mystery machine, and better than eating all the time.

Why should I run, when I got these knives in my mouth,
I will prove if it’s a ghost with my nostrils, and if it’s one, then it’s lunchtime,
Who said I can’t add a zombie to my diet.

Why is pie, in the animate, mouth-watering to bite,
When it goes in and comes back out the same way,
As a pup, people used to act nice, then they change their masks,
And I know what to expect, so tell me why should I fear it?

That Blasted Alsatian

Dog, that is the dog, that is the dog that had me on the run, that is the dog,
Dog, that is the dog, that is the dog that had me on the run, that is the dog,

There stands the Alsatian,
Earlier I called, Lisa answered,
Looks like the gate doesn’t have a lock and I heard a dog,
He was right at my pants, Oh my god!….

Bow wow’s teeth start bites,
Somehow, ME, survived,
With one shoe and my pants leg shredded, and I’m running,
I’m home right now, and yow, band-aids on my skin like wow,
I see Lisa on Skype and YOW, there’s doggie…….

I’m in a cast, been staying in my room,
My friends on Instagram and Facebook,
Said I look like I was stabbed by damn crooks,
Hey what happened?
It was what my girl’s evil dog do,
Lisa and I video-chat that afternoon,
Then she left the laptop to use the bathroom,
Dog says, “Hey you!!!!!”…….

Rastaman Chant

I didn’t know that’s the sound of when Santa Claus comes………
Coming down the chimney, a heavy man stomps,
Toys are not a meat or bone.

Verse 1
Fatman, I’m disappointed in your treats, wiz,
Forget my present and forgot how big my teeth is,
I think you’re just playing Santa under that cheap wig,
I wanna bite you, but the colour of your clothes makes it look like you’re already bleeding,
You look shocked, what? Were you expecting an excited adolescent?,
And I gues you’re gonna say I don’t sound decent, so you got no gifts for me,
Well, Mr. Bank Robber, have a seat and finish your glass of milk ,
No thanks, I don’t eat cookies, but cops will wanna know where you got those goodies…..

Verse 2
I got you cornered so please don’t you try anything,
Those boxes in the sack looks like some of the bank’s dough,
I’ve watched tv with the teenagers,
Where’s my present?, I got a selfish nature,
When I’m done blackmailing you Santa, you’ll wish you had milk and oreo,
You’re trying to be smart, but nothing went right, here’s a list of all your wrongs outlined,
1. You were calling “HO’s” in the house,
2. You forgot my gift, so I doubt you,
3. You’re too fat for that chimney size, and it’s winter so I sleep inside………

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