I took my dog to the car wash for the very first time today. I always go to the same place because it only costs five dollars. We went through it and as we exited, my dog started to shake himself like an electrocuted Tasmanian devil as if he had just exited a pond.

I was LOL’ing hysterically at this reaction from my dog. Well, after thirty bucks worth of trips through the machine, it did not seem quite as funny anymore. Then, the manager said that I can’t just walk through the car wash, and that I have to drive my car through if we were to ever come back there again. I think she is anti-vehicle biased, prejudiced, a supremacist, dare I say an anti-vehicle racist! I’ll put the SYSTEM on trial!

Well, after six phone calls, and six unsuccessful attempts to attain a lawyer for this caper, an uncontrollable urge to feed my misery motivated me to go to the local bakery. On the way there, I imagined the pleasure I was about to encounter. When I arrived, I was glaring through the glass cases like a cat leering into a fish tank.

Suddenly, like a bright light gleaming across the sky, I saw what I wanted. It was a banana cream pie and it was about to be mine. I paid the exorbitant price, took it out of the box, and whipped it into the cashiers face!

The cashier was my neighbor, and I was mad at him because his dog treated my dog like his own personal love toy. Now, I must post the footage on YouTube before the authorities arrive…

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