I took my dog out today for a good healthy meal. We had our hearts set on nature’s perfect food – Chicken McNuggets! The problem; the service this fast-food establishment is awful and I often leave there exacerbated. I shouldn’t expect much from the server – usually a kid that is worried about passing a note in gym class the next day – but their ineptness drives me crazy.

I pulled up to the little drive-thru speaker and ordered a cheeseburger and fries.

The woman said, “I am very sorry sir, but…”

I cut her off right there and said, “OMG! You people are always screwing up my order, running out of product, or trying to sell me a new item that I just don’t want! Now please, tell me that a simpleton like you can handle a freaking cheeseburger and fries! Unbelievable!”

My dog concurred by saying, “GRRRR, RUFF RUFF!”

He doesn’t have his personal ‘McNuggets’ anymore so he gets quite riled. He constantly reminds me how emasculating it is.

Anyway, after my rant there was a 10-second pause and then I heard, “Welcome to Bank of America, @$$#0I&.”

Realizing that I had inadvertently driven through my bank drive-thru I replied, “Well then, it appears that one of us is in the wrong here… Uhm, apology accepted, wench!” Then I floored it and LOL’d all the way out of the parking lot.

Unfortunately, I was pulled over two seconds later for reckless driving. All the bank tellers were looking at me through the giant-sized glass window with ear-to-ear grins. They were shaking their heads in the internationally accepted manner for ‘no’ while waving the free lollipops at me.

Tired, soaked, ticketed, and hungry, I thought to myself, “Hello irony, I hate your freaking guts!”

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1 comment
  1. Hosting says:

    Always watch for potential distractions that may trigger your dog to react negatively. Hughes prefers to avoid sidewalks and hit the asphalt. That tip comes in handy on trash days; otherwise my Lulu would happily romp from house to house snorting garbage cans.

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