My New Exaggerator’s Anonymous Club is the Best on Earth!
I started the largest and most comprehensive “Exaggerators Anonymous” club on this planet! It has a café where every meal is free, there is an open bar 24/7, and a free doggy daycare is included. The dog’s ward has 22 fire hydrants, dozens of stuffed cats, and plenty of mannequin legs for the dogs to “get acquainted” with.
I’ll have live entertainment like Jon Bomb Jovi and Van Handlen, Toronto Mayor Rom Ford, Alec Baldwhim, Spruce Springsteen, Lady Goo Goo, and Miley Cyprus in the twerking section.
There are beer pong tables in the swimming pool. My in-pool beer pong game should actually be called Bourbon pong and the use of this liquor speeds up the game. The winner of the Bourbon Pong challenge gets a new Ferrari automobile. All the losers are the ones that are floating. They get a free cab ride home and/or ambulatory services.
All this from my new ‘Exaggerators Anonymous Club’ comes with your membership!
(In tiny writing) Controlled substances and prophylactic contraceptives included. Not responsible for lost or stolen humans. Membership fees are $1.5 million per person, per year, non-refundable. I am a non-attorney spokesperson. LLC